They rise up and called me Blessed!

This past week I truly understood the following verse, Proverbs 31 verses "28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things,but you surpass them all.”

As a woman, a wife and a mother sometimes I would question things I would say or do in regards to my children. I would pray about it and ask God for the right thing to do or say. It seemed like each day there was another struggle or hurdle where my children were concerned. I would cry in the recesses of my room and wonder these things:
Should I be a stay at home mom?
Should I not let them play a sport?
Is this the right TV Show for them to watch?
Marsha other parents are letting their children do and watch these things, are they really that bad or are you being a prude?

As I pummeled myself daily with these questions, what I now know to be crazy questions, I would read every book out there about the topics, entangle it with my bible scriptures. I was hunting for the "perfect" way to get through raising my children. As my children entered school, I began to realize that they all learned differently and had different needs from me. I had to be several people at the same time. My oldest son was a constant mountain and valley experience. I would press and press for success for him. I would never take no for an answer when it came to him; he was not going to fall on my watch. Several times one teacher took it upon herself to decide that my son was not going to make it, middle school, same scenario, senior year, not only teachers but even coaches, people that he looked to for good counsel.

He was fortunate because God already had a plan for him. God had placed some stable people in his daily life at school that would simply just love him for him.

For many years some would say it was my fault that he behaved the way he did and his failure was my doing. I allowed those words to permeate my heart. It hurt so bad, I began to blame myself. When we moved to Texas a year ago, it was difficult for all of us. However for him it was even harder. He was trying to let go of his life before Texas while trying to walk into adulthood. I still hurt for him each day.

Some of the people who know me well, would say, don't you know God, why are you hurting? I would look at them like they were crazy. This was my son, I could not let him fall. I pushed him into this world and I will push and push until he finds his way.

When Dj decided to go in the military, I was happy but my heart also cried. I cried because I was afraid, afraid not of the military, but because DJ always needed me. The months passed rapidly and the day approached for him to leave. I went to the hotel that Monday evening to say see you later and it was an emotional roller coaster for me all day.

I remembered back to the day he went to Kindergarten, I let that little hand go and off he went. He turned to look at me and ran back and said "mommy, I love you". My heart feel to my feet. Through his life, I was at everything, both victory and defeat. He never had to worry about mom not being in his corner. So watching him walk into manhood that day was scary for both of us. This was boot camp for the US Army, mom could not roll up to the Drill Sargent and say hey don't say that to him. I was not able to guide him in filling out forms. That had been my job, I am his mom.

I am sure some people reading this are like, REALLY? Yes really. They are my pride and joy.

Well when I arrived at the base Thursday morning, Mackenzie and I walked in the theater where the battery was seated. I looked down each aisle and there he was, my DJ, sitting up straight, clothes creased and crisp. He was diligently looking forward as I am pretty sure he was told to do. I was jumping up and down on the inside. At the end of the ceremony we had to wait again until they were released for family day. I was so nervous. The battery marched down the street and there he was. He walked up to me and gave me the biggest hug. He was a young man, no longer my baby, but my adult son who had finally found his way.

We spent two days together and it was amazing. He even got his own cell phone plan.....lol.....The final drop off was Friday evening. As he got his suitcase out of the truck and was getting ready to walk back with his friends, he hugged me and the tears feel. He said, "mom don't cry, I'm going to be fine." As I stood there as he walked away, this time letting go if his hand, I no longer felt worried. All those years that I had prayed and cried and listened to people speak negative things into his life, God used it all for His glory, Dj has made it, he made further than some of the "golden boys" he hung out with in high school.

So when someone tells you to back off and just let your children be a certain way. DON'T! Guide them, love them, pray for them, be there, know their friends, know their dreams. FIGHT FOR YOUR CHILDREN. It may not be sports or a four year college, it could be the military or a trade school, and that's all OK. As long as you impart the WORD OF GOD in their life and keep speaking the positive things into their life so that when you let go of their hand for the last time, you will have surety and know they will be OK. LOVE THEM FOR WHO THEY ARE! I am blessed!